Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
