There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Did I show you my penis last night?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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