It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
