i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
