Pants 0. Shit 1.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
