We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize