im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
