This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
