Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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