im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
