if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
You can't special order awesome
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
