a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
