Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize