I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
my shit smells like andre
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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