No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
