no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
