piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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