dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
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