Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
