Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
