Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
are you so shy because you have an std?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
