marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
