god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Randomize
