I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
