The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
