I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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