So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Do you remember whose house we're in?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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