you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
