Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
