arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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