know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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