yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
