You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
