I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
