I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize