We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
