elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Swine flu is the new snow day.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
