you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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