Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
