I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
It's shark week go big or go home
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
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