that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
