thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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