no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
