the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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