you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
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