At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize