Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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