Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
