i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize