smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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