you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I look better un-naked...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
