I'm really into asian looking animals
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
