he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
