Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
