pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
i believe in u and ur pee
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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