I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize