Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
