My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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