I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize